Dear Ali,
I have problems with women. Mostly, I don’t know how to articulate myself. First, there is a very smart sophomore girl, who I will call “Mary” for the purposes of this letter. I have been stalking her since last year, and while I go out of my way to say hello to her in the hallway, I have no clue how to pull the trigger. How do I strike up a relationship with her? Another girl, who I like less but who I know better, who I’ll call “Milagros,” is a fiery Latin sweetheart who I met in Tech class. I don’t know whether to choose her or the sophomore – should I go for stability with Milagros or take a chance with Mary? Finally, there is a girl in my grade who is very interested in me, but I do not return her interest. How can I make it clear that I don’t feel the same way?
Sincerely,
Articulately Challenged
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Dear Articulately Challenged,
Does Mary know that you like her? If so, do you know if she is interested at all? If she shows any sign of flirtation or delight at your advances, then you should go for it! You could simply suggest a movie you could go to together, or ask her to Homecoming. Be straightforward and honest with your intentions.
However, if you’ve been stalking her for over a year and she has only acted mildly complacent with/tolerant of you, then your best bet is to stick with Milagros. If you know her better, you’ll have a better chance of having a successful relationship as friends first. Taking chances in relationships is only fun if the probability of failure is pretty small, which I’m not sure is the case here.
As for the girl who likes you, if you’ve never given her reason to believe that her feelings are reciprocated, then she should get the picture pretty soon, with no articulating necessary. However, if it gets to the point where you feel you have to confront her, you might want to politely suggest another subject for her infatuation, or you can tell her that you already have someone else you really care about. You definitely don’t want to hurt her feelings, but you cannot string her along if you have no intention of being with her.
Sincerely,
Ali
Jenny Taylor • Oct 23, 2011 at 4:49 pm
Dear Ali,
I recently moved here from virginia, and started as a sophomore at WJ. By sophomore year, most people already have their friend groups and it’s hard to find one that i fit into. I have tried talking to people and asking what they are doing after school and stuff but it never seems to work out. How do I make friends without seeming too desperate for their attention or being annoying? Please help, i’m getting lonely ):
–FRIENDLESS