Dear Tilly,
I love hanging out with my friends, going to the mall, eating and just doing whatever. My friends like to go to parties and tend to invite me, but I don’t want to get in trouble if there is alcohol or drugs there. I also don’t want to be that one person who goes to a party and leaves right after I get there.

I tend to find myself making up excuses, like getting grounded or going to the doctor. I think rejecting their invites is getting old. I really want to hang with my friends, but not in that kind of situation. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Sober Sally

Dear Sober Sally,

You’re definitely not alone in saying that you don’t want to go to a party with alcohol or drugs. Plenty of people just don’t like that scene. The main question is what to do when you get to a party with illegal substances. I agree when you say it would look a bit awkward to just walk out and not come back, but you can’t exactly say that you’re going to the bathroom and sneak out the window either.

Believe it or not, getting out of a bad situation is easier then you would think. I know it might sound silly, but having a key word with your parents would most likely come in handy. A key word is just a single word that lets the other person know that you are in trouble and need to get picked up without questions. A simple example is “grandma.” If you’re at a party and someone brings anything illegal, and you don’t feel comfortable in the situation, then you can call your parents and just happen to ask how your grandma is doing.My parents and I have a “don’t as, don’t tell” rule, it means that if I call them up and use the key word then they will pick me up without any questions. Although it would be great to talk to them about it, your parents don’t need to know about it. Choosing your friends on the other hand is different, each person knows what makes a good friend to them, but there should just be basic quality’s every applicant should have. One of those special qualities is not to pressure you, if you don’t want to do something.

If you’re in a car and someone pulls out a joint to smoke, then you might just happen to start feeling sick. Whether it’s on a shady road in the middle of nowhere or on a highway, the owner of the car won’t want you to throw up in their car and will probably pull over right away. You get out and pretend to throw up, and when your friends ask if you’re ok you tell them you don’t know, but you don’t want to ruin their car, so you will call a cab. When you get home, get your parents to pay for it. I am pretty sure they will understand why you did what you did.

Sincerely,

Tilly