January 5 was a very special day for students in Bethesda and Washington, D.C. No, it wasn’t just that we either had to set our alarm clocks and head to school or choose to suddenly become bedridden with an illness as winter break had ended. President Barack Obama’s daughters began school just miles away from WJ at the two campuses of Sidwell Friends School.
The media was all over the parade of Secret Service SUVs that escorted Sasha and Malia Obama to school. As I watched the news coverage in utter jealousy of their classmates, it made me wonder: what if someway, somehow, one of Obama’s kids went to WJ?
I know the idea sounds impossible, but let’s age 10-year-old Malia by five years and pretend that the White House, like WJ, is under a modernization project. Of course the White House, unlike us, couldn’t suit 45 portables, forcing them to be moved into a “holding White House.” Let’s also assume that Obama’s cabinet decided Strathmore Hall was white enough, so the Obamas could relocate to a Bethesda location that just so happens to falls into WJ district lines until the modernization of the White House is complete. Ta-dah! Welcome First Daughter Malia Obama to WJ.
After Dr. Garran and some other faculty members posed for a few nice publicity shots, it would be time to officially make the first-daughter one of our own. Once she ran through her schedule with guidance counselor Joe Thompson, who would have alphabetical claiming rights to an Obama child, WJ would get to learn what it’s really like to go to school with the President’s daughter. As exciting as it would be, I think we would also realize some challenges we could face.
Of course, the construction noises are disruptive enough, so we definitely don’t need the additional interruption of the Secret Service prancing around on the roof with enormous binoculars and sniper rifles. Also, talk about crowded hallways! Where Malia needs or wants to go, Malia goes. Dodge the Secret Service agents escorting the first-daughter to her sixth period class.
A big issue for both the Obamas and Secret Service agents would be parking. They have two options, both of which could be quite risky. If they dare park in the student parking lot without a WJ parking permit, security might just have those black SUVs towed. Although security might be a bit embarrassed when they have to explain that they didn’t realize that the SUVs with bullet-proof windows belonged to the Secret Service, hopefully they’ll make accommodations for a school bus to take the Secret Service crew back to their base.
Yet, if they choose to park in G-Square, they also face a towing from an angry, fed-up Giant employee. When the Secret Service agents head over to the Bean Bag for coffee, they could find a Giant cashier with a big grin on his face watching black SUVs being towed away.
Another problem the poor Secret Service agents could face is cell phone confiscation. When they’re sitting around in Malia’s English class, texting away to kill time, they could risk having their phones taken away by the teacher until after seventh period. Maybe they could try and pull the “I’m a Secret Service agent” excuse or even the “don’t make me run a background check on you” to try and get them back sooner.
As for some of the major benefits of going to school with the president’s daughter, when a teacher is assigning too much homework or all of the students disagree with the tests, just ask your classmate Malia to have her parents complain and the problem is solved!
So, this may just sound like my little fantasy, but we could make this happen. It’d be worth the hassle of the Secret Service entourage and occasional stalker incidents to say that you went to school with a First Daughter. I’m sure Chelsea Clinton’s former classmates brag to this day about their high school BFF. Obamas, the White House sure is getting old, and what could be better than a “modernized” White House full of Promethean boards?
