The Roberts Rant: All of our Lives are F***ed; Funny, Isn’t it?

Abby Singley

“Today, I saw my girlfriend of two years holding hands with another guy in the hallway. I’ve spent tons of time with her, I walk her to class and worked up a hefty phone bill talking to her. So, I go up to her and in a fit of rage, I break up with her and call her a hussy harlot. The guy turned out to be her cousin. FML.”

These little blurbs from have been spreading through the teenage society like a hilarious virus. According to the website, it provides a “daily dose of short anecdotes, based on a simple recipe: in a few sentences, users can tell everyone the sh***y moment which ruined their day.”

What I can’t seem to understand is why we take time out of our day to read these “daily dose of short anecdotes.” Some of them must be written by losers at their computers just waiting for people to read and vote on their FMLs so they can be posted as “Top FML.” Why is your parents catching you masturbating, getting rejected by a girl who could compete in an ugly contest and hurting yourself in an idiotic manner ending your athletic career so funny? In other words, why do we spend hours reading FML?

“Because it’s funny to read about other peoples’ miserable lives,” said senior Mitra Ebrahimi.

This is completely true! No one wants to say that we enjoy peoples’ pain but sadly, in this cruel world, we do. Isn’t that the reason why we all read FML?! The people that post stuff on fmylife. com have some type of miserable life and they must share their misery and pain with the rest of us, but, news flash, miserable people, we could care less about your lives–it’s the comedic feel to it that brightens up our day and persuades us to read your posts.

Although FML may just be a comedy site for some, it can be used as an esteem booster for others.

“I read FML because it makes me feel better about myself,” said freshman Laura Dally.

Isn’t it hilarious just sitting there comparing how your life is better than the people posting FMLs?

Just think about it. After another pointless, grueling, non-educational day at school, owing money to people you don’t want to owe money to and not being able to beat the final world in Super Mario, you can sit down by your computer and read other’s misery, thinking to yourself how your life is slightly better than theirs. But while reading these daily anecdotes, don’t you feel a bit sorry for the people going through the FMLs? has not just put an evil, sadist smile on all of our faces, it has also found some sneaky pathway into our vocabulary system. Walking through the halls of WJ, I hear the three letters “FML” or the phrase “F*** my life!” after so many sentences.

“No, I got a 66 percent on my science test! F*** my life.”

“I accidentally hit a special education student in the mouth. FML.”

After scanning the website for a few hours, you come across posts that overuse the phrase.

“I just dropped my pencil. F*** my life.”

So I don’t blame people for taking time out of their day to read FML, heck, I’m reading it right now while writing this article. So today, I wrote a draft for my column about, I handed it to my editor, she looked at it but disagreed with every opinion I had and asked me to stop interviewing the girls I constantly hit on. I spent three hours on that article and missed the “24” episode where Tony Almeida killed Larry Moss. FML.