Anders Answers: Which Twin Is Which?

Dear Anders,

I have friends who also happen to be twins. The problem I’m having is I don’t know which one is which. Sometimes I’ll mistake one for the other and call them the wrong name. I’m not sure how to figure out which twin I’m talking to without asking, and then they get all offended! I’m not even sure which one I’m dating! Help!

From,

Seeing Double

 

Dear Seeing Double,

I feel your pain, I often have trouble telling twins apart even when I’m talking to one of them. A lot of people say that if you spend time around them long enough, you’ll be able to distinguish them by their different personalities. But that’s a bunch of lies.

Everyone knows that twins are identical in every way, they’re practically clones; and if they claim they’re “fraternal” then they are lying because they are in fact identical and exact in every way.

To actually find out which twin is which you’ll need to mark them seperately. Give one of them a red collar and another a blue, or cut of the left arm of one and the right of the other, or force one to speak in one language and the other in another. Remember, there are no other ways to figure out which twin you’re talking to because while they have seperate names, they are clones and do everything exactly the same. They are interchangable.

Unless you actually believe that twins are two individuals that happen to look alike. In that case, actually talk to them and slowly figure out how dissimilar they actually are. Their names aren’t the only different things about them. Good luck!

Sincerely,

Anders

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