Heelys should return to popular culture

A in depth look a the Heely skateboard shoe.

A in depth look a the Heely skateboard shoe.


Let’s throw the clock back to the beloved elementary school years, where your classmates raced through the hallways burning up the carpet with their brand new Heelys. That was a time when life was much simpler and the stress of homework and college applications were not weighing down on us all. Our generation deserves a break from the harsh realities of society and bringing back Heelys would do just that.

Think about when you were a kid and the only thing you thought of was how to position your feet so you wouldn’t fall flat on your face when you tried to impress your friends with your high-speed shenanigans. Wouldn’t you like to go back to those times so you can forget all of your worries and skrt skrt on your haters? I know I would. There are innumerable positive effects of bringing Heelys back into popular society. First of all, it cuts down on walking, which everyone hates. Imagine rolling into class with a pair of your freshest shades on. The ladies would be crawling at your feet. It could get so bad that you might not even get to your seat (but I’m not a rapper).

The Heelys Epidemic of 2016 is something that needs to happen to save our country. Our youth are confined into societal expectations that are hard to meet. If I see a kid rolling down the hallway in a pair of jet black Heelys, I’m definitely thinking he’s important, despite his appearance. Heelys are something that everyone has a positive reaction to. Not once have I ever mentioned Heelys and have the guy next to me respond negatively and say “eww Heelys boy boutta roast you.” Never has that ever happened in the history of ever. Heelys are love. Heelys are life. Let’s bring them back and end our strife (but I’m not a rapper).