The official student newspaper of Walter Johnson High School

The Pitch

The official student newspaper of Walter Johnson High School

The Pitch

The official student newspaper of Walter Johnson High School

The Pitch

SLIDER: National Debt

It had all the makings of a storybook season.  A new, state-of-the-art stadium was finished in time for opening day  and the Nats beat their division rivals, the Atlanta Braves, in dramatic fashion as fan-favorite third baseman Ryan Zimmerman hit a walk-off home run, showing signs of an amazing year.

And it was. 2008 saw the Rays reach the World Series. The Nats would go on to lose more games than any other team, but they did, however, win more games than the Redskins.

I’ve been to dozens of Nationals games, and have seen the victory fireworks go off a whopping one time. I’m far from a Nats fan, but I can’t take it anymore. So listen up Manny Acta, Jim Bowden, Barack Obama or anyone else willing to help this organization. Follow these three quick-fix plans, and the Washington Nationals will win the 2009 World Series.

Story continues below advertisement

Stick with “The Plan.” Team president Stan Kasten, the man behind the Atlanta Braves’ 14 straight division titles, decided to re-build the team from the ground up by investing in draft picks and the farm system. He dubbed this “The Plan.” Not a bad idea, considering the Rays used the same strategy to reach the World Series. Tampa parted ways with washed-up superstars and troublemakers, a move that Kasten would be wise to mimic. For example, the Rays traded disgruntled outfielder Elijah Dukes after he threatened to kill his wife. This came after he impregnated four different women, one of whom was a foster child of Dukes’ step-grandmother. When the girl became understandably flustered, Dukes did the respectable thing and pelted a Gatorade bottle at her. The only problem with this strategy is that the Nats were the brilliant team to trade for Dukes. Not only that, they gave Tampa Bay a top prospect in return. It might be hard to rebuild using prospects when said prospects play for different teams.

Get a pitching staff. The Rays rode a young, talented pitching staff to the World Series. The Nats, on the other hand, feature a staff that looks like it was picked randomly out of a hat. Most of the pitchers have not established themselves, and the established ones are established as horrible. Among notable free agent pitchers this offseason, the Nats could  go after aces CC Sabathia or Ben Sheets, but they’re more likely to make an offer to the charming Roger Clemens or Air Bud. If the Nats can get a stud to anchor the staff and develop solid pitchers in the minor leagues, they’ll win bigger than Dmitri Young at McDonald’s Monopoly.

Get in shape. The Rays lineup was filled with speedy athletes who could change the game in an instant. The Nationals build team chemistry by seeing who can eat the most Big Bufords in one sitting at Checkers. Dmitri Young, who reported to spring training weighing a hearty 298 pounds, takes nutritional advice from John Kruk. And I’ve never been able to understand how Ronnie Belliard supports the torso of a competitive eater with the legs of a gymnast. The Nats are already on the right track; they demoted pitcher Ray King to the minors after King thought it would be a good career move to pretend every day was “Look like Notorious B.I.G.” day.

So get yo’ popcorn ready, because 2009 will see the Nationals win their first World Series. If they don’t, no big deal. If I’ve learned anything from being a WJ football fan, it’s that winning takes time.

A lot of time…patience is a virtue.

0
0
Leave a Comment
Donate to The Pitch
$775
$1000
Contributed
Our Goal

Your donation will support the student journalists of Walter Johnson High School. Your contribution will allow us to purchase equipment and cover our annual website hosting costs.

More to Discover
Donate to The Pitch
$775
$1000
Contributed
Our Goal

Comments (0)

All The Pitch Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *