The official student newspaper of Walter Johnson High School

The Pitch

The official student newspaper of Walter Johnson High School

The Pitch

The official student newspaper of Walter Johnson High School

The Pitch

Throw Down or Go Home

As soon as they stepped onto the ice out of the penalty box, NHL players Erik Reitz and Aaron Asham threw their gloves down. They looked murderous as they circled one another, waiting to pounce. Watching the confrontation on TV, I became very engaged. The refs stood by and let it happen, and their attitudes after escorting the bloody faced combatants back to the penalty box suggested that their only regret was that they didn’t have a La-Z-Boy so that they could put their feet up to watch the action. Honestly, in most cases, refs do as much to break up fights as the average drunk fan in the stands who is screaming for blood.


This is why most people watch hockey, for the chance to watch an all-out brawl. People love organized chaos.

No matter what form it is found, and whether they like to admit it or not, they enjoy fighting. Yes, hockey games have some blood pumping battles, but since they are more common, the coolest fights are often not in hockey. They usually take place in sports that viewers do not expect fighting. An example is fencing. But, I don’t know anything about fencing, so I will stay away from that. This inspired me to chronicle a few fan favorites.

The brawl at the palace in Detroit was a night that wouldn’t soon be forgotten by all involved. Ben Wallace was met by a charging Ron Artest from behind. He didn’t like that. Not only did the fans get to witness one of the most intense fights in sports history, they got to participate in the excitement. Artest was hit with a cup of beer towards the end of the game. He struck back with vengeance. He went into the stands fists up and started swinging at fans. Nine players got suspensions in the 2004 melee including Artest, who was out an entire season and four players are looking at assault charges.

I’m not going to lie, baseball fights are definitely among the most entertaining especially when they are between the Yankees and the Red Sox. In 2003 Yankees 72-year-old assistant coach Don Zimmer bolted (as fast as a 72-year-old bench coach can run) towards Red Sox pitcher Pedro Martinez. I remember watching on the edge of my seat to see whether the 72- year- old could take down the 32-year-old pitcher. Zimmer, who looks like Darth Vader with his mask off, was dealt a smackdown as he was thrown down to the ground by the head. He was treated by Yankees staff for a wound to his head. and his confidence. But hey, can you imagine a fight between men separated by 40 years of age in any other sport?

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Kimbo Slice captured the attention of millions of Americans with his explosive punches and a beard that could hide. The expansive mixed martial arts fighter captivated viewers the past few years just by being incredibly jacked and for resembling a scary animal. The web sensation, whose first job was as a bouncer for a strip club, overcame homelessness earlier in his life to make a living beating the crap out of people. I’ll end this with a quote by Iron Mike Tyson himself. “Everyone has a plan ‘till they get punched in the mouth.’”

P.S. I must give props where props are due. My boy Happy Gilmore. Happy currently holds two records for his high school: most time spent in the penalty box and only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody. Get it, Happy!

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