With a myriad of sports present in today’s world, we here on The Pitch’s sports staff, consisting of David Riva, Colin Buley, Corey Goldstone and Mateo Williamson, believe that every sport, regardless of popularity, has the right to be the object of our snarky comments.

Kobayashi proves my theory that Asian people dominate sports that do not matter.If you have ever seen David Riva at Checkers you know that he has an excellent chance at winning the MLE this year. His world record, 40 seconds to consume a Big Buford, is unlikely to be matched. And we wonder why the rest of the world hates us…I invited Joey Chestnut to my 4th of July cookout. I’ll spare you the details, but he won’t be invited back this year.MMA is basically a human cockfight. Except PETA doesn’t get pissed off.I don’t mess with mixed martial arts. There are too many rules. I stick to the streets. Plus, nowhere in the G-code does it say anything about having sweaty guys on top of you. This sport doesn’t even have any fans for me to make fun of.Malta Maritime Authority? Methylmalonic acid? Maxillomandibular advancement? Really guys, soccer?If I wanted to jump up and down and shout “OLE!” at the top of my lungs, I could just go to Taco Bell and order a volcano taco and those only cost 89 cents.David, you’re Cuban…I was at a D.C. United game the other night. It was great, until everyone in the stands got deported and I had to watch the rest of the game by myself. What else would I be doing while getting drunk off my ass on moonshine?Ricky Bobby will be back. He is a competitive guy.NASCAR: an insult to non-ambi-turners everywhere, just ask Derek “I can’t turn left” Zoolander. I like Nas. I like cars. But some things just aren’t meant to be. There’s nothing better than kicking back and watching Canadians beat the sh*t out of each other. God Bless America.It may take someone even braver than Jackie Robinson to integrate this league. NHL? Must stand for No Homies League.It’s a shame the lockout hasn’t ended yet.