I admit I am guilty. I am guilty of abuse, guilty of poor grammar, guilty of satirical motives. And I’m sorry! Well actually…the sorry might be going a little far. But at least we have it out in the open.
I can’t bring myself to type another word, to ‘like’ another post or to update the world on my current activity until I make my complete declaration of all my Facebook crimes. Let them be a warning to all Facebookers of the universe (high school, I mean).
1) Status Bombs: They come out of nowhere, flinging the innocent from where they sit snugly in their computer chairs. I cite a recent status: “all you Facebook ppl…how silly you are. what is it that you want?? identity? inclusiveness?? to reign over a small social empire??!!/? all i want is an L-O-L. and i will take one from you and you and you and YOU, thnx you.” It’s vicious isn’t it? You, little blonde kid, sitting and playing Farmville, you wouldn’t hurt a fly! And you, girl with the winged eyeliner- you were just telling your BFF how pretty she looks in her profile picture! And then BAM! Like a land mine, it hits as you return to your newsfeed. Forgive me for my blindness, blameless Facebookers across the grids!
2) Misspelling=Misdemeanor: Who knew letter substitutions could be so ruthless? Well, they are when flung at those who have a weak stomach for such atrocities. I hope these kewl’s, lyke’s and gurlz’s didn’t permanently tarnish your concept of spelling, or even worse, phonetics. I can’t take them back. In fact they may have already infiltrated your school papers and daily conversation. But what I can do is let you know that thyme is a spice not a measurement of daily life and that in no twisted world could a ‘d’ replace ‘th’!
3) Deceitful Derision (Sarcasm): We all say things we don’t mean. But that hardly excuses my pointedly reverse statements. In the midst of my most sinful days, I once said, “just realised dat some ppl have CR@aziiee facebook skills/abilities…dey rlly noe how to ‘work it’ in dis cyberworld!!!11–>&*>maybz dey cud teach me sumthyme??!1” My honest translation: “Just realized that some people totally eat up this Facebook bullsh**. They really have a pathetic idea of authentic communication. I am so glad I am not them.”
Despite the excessive apologies, I still wonder: am I really “not them?” In reality, I am guilty of more than just these fickle items, but of double standards. By being indirectly sarcastic yet pointed in my criticisms, I have come full circle and met the people I scorn on the same end. As Facebook users, we are so often guilty of artificial interactions and our genuine social abilities are constantly at risk. You owe it to yourself to simply be aware of your intentions and implications in every Facebook move you make. So keep up your guard social networkers. If you stay true, I will too.
