The official student newspaper of Walter Johnson High School

The Pitch

The official student newspaper of Walter Johnson High School

The Pitch

The official student newspaper of Walter Johnson High School

The Pitch

Curveball: A Modest Proposal

We all have personal grievances about school that go beyond the classic complaints of too much homework or boring classes. I’m talking complaints about the framework of the school itself — poorly equipped restrooms, uncomfortable desks or the arduous trek up three flights of stairs.

Pre-post-construction, WJ had character. Students bonded over the lack of ceilings, the ever-changing floor layout, and the growing expanse of Portable City. We congregated under the Clock, engaged in impromptu snowball fights, and threw ourselves into school spirit. Now, the clock is simply a time-keeping device, Portable City is foreign to many, and the greenman has yet to make an appearance. Though it’s time to move on, we should look back at the fun spirit we used to have.

This is my proposal of how to revamp WJ and bring back our playful attitude. Some/all ideas might seem silly, nay, impractical, but even with four mascots WJ could use more silliness.

Idea 1: Music should be broadcasted over the loudspeaker in the six minutes between classes. Why: Who wouldn’t enjoy a little Beyonce to brighten their mood between classes? I could exhaust this entire column listing the benefits of music. Skeptics might object on the basis that students will disagree on the music selection, but a constant rotation of genres and the universality of certain songs will solve that problem.

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Idea 2: The Student Commons should be equipped with couches and/or beds.

Why: When we were promised an exciting new Student Commons pre-post-construction, I definitely imagined it with couches. The name conjurs the image of a cozier place to relax in.

Idea 3: We should have a 15-minute break between second and third periods. Why: For all you unfortunate students who actually have first and second periods, I’m sure you would appreciate a little time to get a snack, catch up with friends, or run over to the Student Commons for a catnap before trudging through third and fourth periods on your way to lunch. This would help break up the routine of the day and get students freshened up for the rest of the day.

Idea 4: We should have impromtu dance parties. Why: Remember the shenanigans of the Super Christmas Friday gang? For those who are too young to remember, it was a group of rambunctious students who held parties in the halls. Their spontaneous raves in the halls should serve as inspiration.

Don’t get me wrong, modernization was great. Classrooms are brighter, the fields are greener and we finally boast ceilings in our halls. Yet, modernization took away more than our rundown hallways and classrooms: it took away our character.

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About the Contributor
Sasha Tycko
Sasha Tycko, Print Editor-in-Chief
Sasha Tycko is one of the Print Editors-in-Chief. Sasha spent last year as the co-editor of the Arts and Entertainment section, where she mastered the art of the fashion spread and music review. This year, Sasha has risen to the challenge of being print editor-in-chief, and has emphasized a more cohesive, “magazine-y” layout for the paper. Sasha’s hobbies include white space and more white space, and her greatest accomplishment comes in the form of an active streak in which she has used the word “cluttered” in 15 straight layout presentations. Outside of The Pitch, Sasha runs track, plays clarinet in WJ’s wind ensemble and excels in the APEX program, all while miraculously maintaining some semblance of a social life. Sasha hopes to take her talents and love for white space to an elite college or university, and has already been admitted to the University of Chicago.
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