Relationship Issue: Red flags that you should not ignore


Photo by Stella Hadamer

Asking for inappropriate pictures is a common type of peer pressure teens face daily.

You met him through a friend of a friend. He asked you for your Snapchat and you started Face Timing every night. He’s really sweet and funny but he always asks to check who you’re texting on your phone and won’t let you hang out with some people he doesn’t like. No big deal, right? Wrong.

No healthy relationship can start without a foundation of trust. High school relationships can be new and exciting, but many end in broken hearts and broken friendships. Without an initial level of trust and communication, most relationships are doomed to fail. A lack of trust is one of the many red flags that can pop up at any stage of a relationship.

“In my past relationship he would keep secrets all the time, and it made me question whether or not he cared or if he was in the relationship for fun. I wish I didn’t ignore the fact that he didn’t let me meet his friends or be around them without him getting mad. Looking back, I wish I didn’t ignore the red flags. Knowing he cheated on me makes me wish I didn’t ignore him keeping secrets,” an anonymous sophomore said.

Other red flags include your partner pressuring you into doing things you’re not ready for or comfortable with, being aggressive or violent and having a past reputation of being unfaithful in a relationship. One of the biggest things to watch out for is if they only text you late at night or Snap you when they haven’t talked to you all day just to ask you for favors. If you notice this, run!

“I honestly think one of the major red flags is if they only text or snap you at night and don’t make time to talk to you during the day, that means they don’t want anything good,” sophomore Antonella Deniel said.

High school relationships can be both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, they offer teens the opportunity to grow and mature in preparation for future relationships, but on the other hand, they can go horribly wrong and end in trauma, injuries or even pregnancy. That is why being able to spot and identify red flags is so important. If you don’t feel comfortable doing something, it’s probably a red flag. Examples include being pressured to participate in intimate relations or send inappropriate pictures. Just remember that you don’t have to do anything you’re not okay with. If your partner is threatening to leave you if you do not do what they want, they are not invested in the relationship and aren’t ready for a healthy relationship.

“Pressuring someone is a sign of an immature relationship or someone who isn’t ready to date. Them exhibiting those red flags is a huge red flag. I would reference the power and control wheel on how people manipulate others because there are lots of different ways such as pressuring or isolating them from friends,” health teacher Lorraine Goldstein said.