The official student newspaper of Walter Johnson High School

The Pitch

The official student newspaper of Walter Johnson High School

The Pitch

The official student newspaper of Walter Johnson High School

The Pitch

So, I’m an adult now

Graphic+by+Christian+Brown.
Graphic by Christian Brown.

By the time this newspaper is published, I’m going to be 18. It’s a simple fact, but it still feels unreal. I don’t feel like a young adult. I don’t even look like a young adult – I’ve been asked three times this year whether I’m a freshman or sophomore, and when I was an underclassman, security tried to kick me out of the building because they thought I was a middle schooler.

And I’m not sure I’m excited for my birthday this year. In my last column, I wrote that I loved the second semester of the year because I celebrated a birthday every month. And, because it was during summer break, I celebrated my birthday three times – one early in December with my friends, one with a dinner with my parents and my brother, and one in Goiânia with my extended family. This year, I’m barely celebrating once.

I tend to analyze everything in my life as if I were reading a novel – it would be written by Lemony Snicket, by the way – and the fact that I’m not really celebrating my first birthday as an adult… It’s almost like a bad metaphor for my transition from childhood to adulthood. I’ve fantasized about this birthday since my first year of high school, and though I’m writing this a week before the 19th, I know that it will be nothing like I imagined: In Brazil, surrounded by my best friends and family in a churrascaria and being all full of myself for finally being able to drink, vote and drive.

I’ve always had my head stuck in the clouds. I’m optimistic, I create stories and conversations and scenes, and I kind of believe in them. I daydream, as a young woman does. But when we become adults, I think we have to relinquish this habit. I’m not saying I can’t foster imagination or believe in the magic of Christmas – how could I be a successful writer if I didn’t? – But life is unpredictable and is complicated. We just don’t realize it because we live in a routine; we are sheltered and comfortable. We see the same teachers every day and our loved ones are almost a natural presence. But sometimes, your brother will not be able to change shifts, and your friends won’t afford a plane ticket – and neither will you. But just because this December 19th wasn’t what I expected, it doesn’t mean it won’t be good. And if it does end up being bad, well, the Baudelaires may have had a series of unfortunate events – but it sure was one heck of a journey.

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